Well, this time, there is kinda happy news!! I got myself an angel. It was like not expected at all. She said she wanna concentrate on SPM first. So, I wanted to wait. All of sudden, she canceled it. Then, here we go. =)
Second, I just checked my exam slip and I'm not barred!!! Hell yea!!! Thanks thanks!!
Damn, now everything is on the right track. All I need to do now is just go with the flow. I don't have expectations all. Just three words baby, I love you.
p.s.: Good things happen to people who wait!!!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
It's December baby!!!
Well, where should I being with. Mid-terms just finished and assignment done and already submitted to the person that I should submit. Kinda two weeks for finals. Attendance for my Engineering Maths 2 is really low and I'm not in the barlist. I already email-ed the lecturer to know that is that final barlist or what. Hope it's a final barlist. I don't want to be barred from exam. My mid-term marks kinda high, 18/20 for the first exam and I know the second exam is kinda easy and can score kinda high too. Please don't bar me!!! =(
Today I broke a girl's heart. I didn't mean to hurt her. It's just she made all the assumption and fell in love. I'm sorry. I already set my mind to some else. And I already made the move. It's not nice to back off now. I should tell you earlier but then it's just I don't want to miss the things coming to me, I wanted to appreciate your feelings, but then in the end, it's happen to be in this way. I know it's gonna hurt you. But I have no other choice. I don't want to be a bastard dating two girls at once.
Hope what I decided today is worth it. I know I will be happy with you, lady. Its just people will change with respect to time. I don't know how we gonna change. When a guy and a girl falls in love, they will do so many sweet things, so many sweet words. But then, after few months, the feelings fade. They started to feel irritated and annoyed by the person they loved so much few months ago, the person they decided to hold hands and walk to the end of their life. I know I not the type of guy that get bored of your attitude. Its like I am asking you : Will you walk with me till the end of me?? I know it's too early to say I love you, but then I already started to adore you, to miss you, to technically and literally love you. =)
p.s.: I'm looking forward for next year. =)
Today I broke a girl's heart. I didn't mean to hurt her. It's just she made all the assumption and fell in love. I'm sorry. I already set my mind to some else. And I already made the move. It's not nice to back off now. I should tell you earlier but then it's just I don't want to miss the things coming to me, I wanted to appreciate your feelings, but then in the end, it's happen to be in this way. I know it's gonna hurt you. But I have no other choice. I don't want to be a bastard dating two girls at once.
Hope what I decided today is worth it. I know I will be happy with you, lady. Its just people will change with respect to time. I don't know how we gonna change. When a guy and a girl falls in love, they will do so many sweet things, so many sweet words. But then, after few months, the feelings fade. They started to feel irritated and annoyed by the person they loved so much few months ago, the person they decided to hold hands and walk to the end of their life. I know I not the type of guy that get bored of your attitude. Its like I am asking you : Will you walk with me till the end of me?? I know it's too early to say I love you, but then I already started to adore you, to miss you, to technically and literally love you. =)
p.s.: I'm looking forward for next year. =)
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Can men cry??
I still remember my ex asked me a question. Can men cry?? Well, guess, now she know the answer.
http://corvedacosta.wordpress.com/2009/07/18/can-men-cry
p.s.: They are soft, insecure, wimps, cry babies, sissies, bitches, other degrading words are used, and the list goes on.
16th Nov.
-16th November-
Yea, it's my very own,one and the only birthday. Well, last year birthday was so nice. This year birthday, spent most of the night with my friend. To tell the truth, they are the cure for the pain inside me. But then, I can't expect them to be there all the time right. Everybody have their own life to live. Their own problem to handle with. Well, the pain is back again. Alone, in the dark, I lost myself again. What I did till she can't even wish me Happy Birthday?? Now, it's clear that I am a stranger to her.
I miss the way she touch me, the way she squeeze my hand.
I miss the way she hug my arm.
I miss the way she stand beside me.
I miss the way she hug me.
I miss the way she kiss my cheek.
I miss the way she lean on me.
I miss her.
What's the use to love her anymore?? If I know the way to kill this love inside my heart, I will do it. I don't care what else I'm gonna loss, I will just do it.
p.s.: I need to carry this my whole life.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
I'm suffocating!!!
It's been a painful day. This never happen when I'm at Cyber. Don't know how come, it's back. Well, when I'm at home, Penang, I used to sneeze a lot, I mean, really a lot. From early age itself, I got sinus. I used to sneezed like almost 50 times, even more than that within 1 hour. Just imagine how you feel if you sneeze non-stop. Well, I don't know how y'all will feel, but I feel pain in my chest plus with suffocating. When for check-ups, the doctor keep on recommending more powerful drug, just because I'm too young for the operation. So, my parents stopped me from the medication. Then, they forced me to try Chinese traditional treatment, it worked during the treatment, after the treatment, the sneezing thing came back.
So, after high school, I went college. Well, it becomes better. No more flu in the morning, no more sneezing problem. But then, I started to smoke. Till now, I don't know, smoking making it worst or not. Definitely smoking not gonna make it better. It just now I feel like people like me shouldn't smoke at all. Now, I can't sleep. I'm suffocating. I can feel that I can't breathe normally. It's not that I'm scared that I will die. It just I can't express what I'm feeling now. Those chest pain, stomach feels like numb, itchy throat, itchy nose, and at the same time, the nose hurts so much.
Can say most of my night something like this. I have to change my position just to make sure I can breath properly. Sometimes I wake up with a nose blocked, I mean totally blocked. Whatever stuck there, it would not go in neither come out. Have to breath using my mouth. Sometimes I woke up with a dry throat, just because I sleep with open mouth for a long time.
Well, that's all. Need to try to sleep. I hope I have something to make me sleep.
p.s.: Sinus are a common disease, but the pain, you can only feel it, when you have it. Never try, never know.
So, after high school, I went college. Well, it becomes better. No more flu in the morning, no more sneezing problem. But then, I started to smoke. Till now, I don't know, smoking making it worst or not. Definitely smoking not gonna make it better. It just now I feel like people like me shouldn't smoke at all. Now, I can't sleep. I'm suffocating. I can feel that I can't breathe normally. It's not that I'm scared that I will die. It just I can't express what I'm feeling now. Those chest pain, stomach feels like numb, itchy throat, itchy nose, and at the same time, the nose hurts so much.
Can say most of my night something like this. I have to change my position just to make sure I can breath properly. Sometimes I wake up with a nose blocked, I mean totally blocked. Whatever stuck there, it would not go in neither come out. Have to breath using my mouth. Sometimes I woke up with a dry throat, just because I sleep with open mouth for a long time.
Well, that's all. Need to try to sleep. I hope I have something to make me sleep.
p.s.: Sinus are a common disease, but the pain, you can only feel it, when you have it. Never try, never know.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
What the fuck??!!!
Yea, I pierced my ear. Well, most of people said it's damn painful. So, I tried. Nah, not that painful. But, it was worth, till yesterday. I dunno how can the stud come out, one of the screw-able end came out and fell don't know where. Then, another part definitely will come out. So, I took it out. I came back to my hostel room. I spent almost 1 hour to put it back, still cannot, so asked my friend to help me, still cannot. So, today, went back to the shop to ask her to put it back. She said your wound is still fresh, so even 1 day, it will close. I was like, 1 day you know, not 1 week. I didn't even have it for 1 week.Now, I feel like something missing. I know it's pathetic. But, it's still the feeling, whenever I bath, after bath, on the bed, it's like reminding me this. Urgh!! But then, it's just the fucking stud right, can pierce again rite. So, fuck it!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
I saw her under the rain, even I was so down, the smile pop out of nowhere. She is so cute till I'm going crazy to meet her everyday!! I wanna meet her tomorrow. Make it happen, make it happen, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
-This is it-
Yea, watched the movie already. It was really really awesome!!! I can't imagine how the concert will be if it really happens.
p.s.: Don't miss it!!!
Guess who's back!!
I'm not dead, so do the blog!!! Just busy with life, went back home for semester break. Well, now life seems to be simple. Pick those things you like, throw others. Just fucking do whatever you wanna do. That's how my life is going on. Well, I dunno it's the correct way or not, but I'm sure I'm not gonna regret this.
Well, there is some good news. I get the thing that I wanted so long ago, MP4. Yea, it's like finally!!! Then, I didn't fail anything subject last semester. What a great new is that??!!! Then, I got pierced again. Wohoooo!!! Not as painful as ma friend said.
About love life, nothing much. Actually, it's better to stay like this. Coz I'm smoking, I'm not sure how healthy I am or I will be. I'm been eating mutton every single day past few months. So, it's just I am happy with those memories with her and everything I been through. It's not that only a girlfriend or wife can make me happy forever. There are many other things. I can't love a person like I love her. I dunno about future. Things change with respect to time right. So, I'm not promising anything here.
Well, now I'm around with so many friends. And I dunno all of them really care about me, but all I know is some of them really do. This reminds me of secondary school life, so many friends, cares about nothing, fuck everything that bothers me, screaming to elder people, damn that was a phase which never ever I will regret in my life.
And now I know nothing about ma ex. Zero. And I think it's better to be that way. Doesn't mean that I don't give a shit about her, it's just things are better in this way.
p.s.: Life is beautiful if we stop complaining.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
WALKMAN® MP3 - E Series
Well, there is some good news. I get the thing that I wanted so long ago, MP4. Yea, it's like finally!!! Then, I didn't fail anything subject last semester. What a great new is that??!!! Then, I got pierced again. Wohoooo!!! Not as painful as ma friend said.
About love life, nothing much. Actually, it's better to stay like this. Coz I'm smoking, I'm not sure how healthy I am or I will be. I'm been eating mutton every single day past few months. So, it's just I am happy with those memories with her and everything I been through. It's not that only a girlfriend or wife can make me happy forever. There are many other things. I can't love a person like I love her. I dunno about future. Things change with respect to time right. So, I'm not promising anything here.
Well, now I'm around with so many friends. And I dunno all of them really care about me, but all I know is some of them really do. This reminds me of secondary school life, so many friends, cares about nothing, fuck everything that bothers me, screaming to elder people, damn that was a phase which never ever I will regret in my life.
And now I know nothing about ma ex. Zero. And I think it's better to be that way. Doesn't mean that I don't give a shit about her, it's just things are better in this way.
p.s.: Life is beautiful if we stop complaining.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
WALKMAN® MP3 - E Series Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
It's done.
Finals are going on now. So, so many things run through my mind. No time to blog anything. In fact nothing is to blogged. This was the drawing I was doing since few weeks. Actually done, few weeks ago. Now only, I am satisfied to be display. So, this is it.
p.s.: It's done.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I'm Feeling You - Michelle Branch & Santana
I wanted to post this song since morning!!! Damn, I am getting lazy, real lazy nowadays. It's just week 12 and I stopped myself to go classes. I dunno why, but I feel my room is so so so comfy, even though I am sitting on the floor. (Prena way, grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!)
I started to draw already. Here comes the part where I love myself. The only thing is, it's 3.48 in freaking morning. Who the hell wanna go class my son?? Haiz!!!
p.s.: Phase 1 done.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
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Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
American Suitehearts
Do you ever wonder why everything is so hard to obtain?? If everything is already written, then what's the point we tried so fucking much and at last realized that it's not for us?? And at last we will tell to ourselves, at least we tried. It's just doesn't make sense to me anymore. I don't have believe in such things anymore. I believed that everything will be okay one day, but now I realized tomorrow gonna be worst than today.
It's really hard to do what you don't want to do. What's the point we have talent if we can't use those to make us happy. The real happiness is when you see what you can do with what you have. It's not what people gonna say about it, it's about the person inside you. I can't forget my dream, sometimes I feel like wanna drop all those things. But it's inside me, a part of me, nowadays I barely do drawings. I feel like I lost it, it was the only part of myself I loved so much. The only part of me that I wanted to make satisfied. So much. Now, I dunno, I'm stuck between something that I really don't even know.
p.s.: Suffer for something that you don't want is much more worst than suffer for something that you want it with all your heart.
It's really hard to do what you don't want to do. What's the point we have talent if we can't use those to make us happy. The real happiness is when you see what you can do with what you have. It's not what people gonna say about it, it's about the person inside you. I can't forget my dream, sometimes I feel like wanna drop all those things. But it's inside me, a part of me, nowadays I barely do drawings. I feel like I lost it, it was the only part of myself I loved so much. The only part of me that I wanted to make satisfied. So much. Now, I dunno, I'm stuck between something that I really don't even know.
p.s.: Suffer for something that you don't want is much more worst than suffer for something that you want it with all your heart.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The Fray - Heartless(Cover)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0njUdMm49wI
I can't get 1 that can fit in the frame. So, just search for it. Trust me, it's worth it.
p.s.: Damn creative!!!
I can't get 1 that can fit in the frame. So, just search for it. Trust me, it's worth it.
p.s.: Damn creative!!!
She is love.
Yea, I forget something. Finally, I played futsal again. I know the nail gonna hurt, but still the temptation, just fuck those pain and play. Haha!!! Now, I'm blogging after played futsal. Damn fresh!!! But sleepy!!! Planned to do assignment, but I think canceled. Coz nobody replying me.
Well, this song making me more sleepy!!!
p.s.: I dunno why my mind will think creatively at night!!! Nomore drawings, I wanna sleep!!!
Well, this song making me more sleepy!!!
p.s.: I dunno why my mind will think creatively at night!!! Nomore drawings, I wanna sleep!!!
Heeeeeeee!!!!
Haha. It's been a while. Busy busy busy. Well, studies, dunno how to describe anymore. It's like the phrase, " I born intelligent, education made me a fool". Things are like the phrase now. I fed up when I study a lot, sacrifice a lot of time, and ended up in the place same as those people that are not trying anything. Well, I'm still trying. I'm getting close to the end. I know still 2 years more. But, after that, it's me. Only me, I can plan all over again. Well this time, there is no other people to be worried anymore. Unlike last time, I have to think about girlfriend. What's she up to, how is she doing, how is her studies going on?? Well now nomore, I can concentrate on mine. It sounds selfish, but it's good in that way. Coz there is nothing to be worried. Even this is not what I wanted, but I can do what I want after I earn some money. Just 2 more years. I can't wait.
p.s.: I'm ready to penetrate. Are you ready to fill those holes??
p.s.: I'm ready to penetrate. Are you ready to fill those holes??
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
A walk to remember.
What will you do when you stressed?? Well, I tried a new method, I walked. I dont know it's works or not, but it's like make you cheer up a bit. I walked without a direction. I just walked. And then had a small pit-stop, smoking. Then, eat something on the way back. I feel like I need exercise. Coz after the nail on my toe injured, I stopped playing futsal, then I always feel like wanna something till sweating, but I dont know what to do. Need to find a way, but then, all this works I have now, it's already more than enough.
p.s.: Wanted a break. Need a vacation. No alcohols, no cigarettes.
The cutest thing that Prena ever showed me:
p.s.: Wanted a break. Need a vacation. No alcohols, no cigarettes.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Evanescence.
Tourniquet
I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
so much more
I lay dying
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
I want to die!!!
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will I be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide
p.s.: Something I am hunger for. I dunno what.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Lost in holidays!!!
Next week is holiday. I really really need a break. Saturday morning, my bus baby!!! But then, deep inside there is some worries, I am scared. I wanna go back to my house, but I don't want that house, I don't want that room, I don't want that mattress. Seriously, it's gonna make things worst. I dunno. This time my holidays gonna be a bit weird and uncomfortable. I am gonna do an act that everything was fine and is fine. I should learn to do the fake smiles. Where should I go?? Where should I begin?? I started to learn to live in this darkness.
p.s.: What left to a person who lost everything?? I hated everything and loved only her. Now guess yall know what remains.
p.s.: What left to a person who lost everything?? I hated everything and loved only her. Now guess yall know what remains.
MCR.
Can you hear me?
Are you near me?
Can we pretend?
To leave and then,
We'll meet again,
When both our cars collide.
Are you near me?
Can we pretend?
To leave and then,
We'll meet again,
When both our cars collide.
p.s.: I love the video clip for Helena. Seriously, it's nice.
Good bye my lover.
Guess time to drop everything that I am hanging on. I don't care how far I am gonna fall. I just wanna get the hell out of the topic. I am back to my old concept. Karma. Whatever you do, you will get back. That's all. There is no such thing hell and heaven. Everything is in this life. I did something wrong. Yea, I admit. So I don't know what is waiting. But then, I deserved it. What else more painful than what I have been through this year. My life ruined. She messed up everything. Everything that I believed. Everything!!! And well, my ex, you did something too, all this time I really really wanted to be there when what you did comes back to you. But then, after this, I don't know how to face you. I really wanted to protect you. I didn't meant anything to be in this way. Coz you know you are the only thing that was everything for me. I don't know why you left, but I know I was me when you was around me.
I am not gonna do anything, tell anything or cross your life anymore. If you want me to be in your life, like you said in your blog, the decision is yours.
p.s.: Bai.
I am not gonna do anything, tell anything or cross your life anymore. If you want me to be in your life, like you said in your blog, the decision is yours.
p.s.: Bai.
Realized.
I deleted some part of my previously post. It just I realized that it wasn't from me, I don't think that way. I had another talk with my friends, I realized I was confused. I am not telling reason to cover my mistake. It just it's not me. That is not the way I think. All I have I have. I am not the person that pull everything into God. It just God is God and me is me. Nothing changed. Back to what I am. It's not that I changed coz something good happen in my life or what. I am more comfortable in the way I think last time. This is me.
p.s.: Sorry for the mistake I had done, everyone.
p.s.: Sorry for the mistake I had done, everyone.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Drugs.
This post would be drugs.
I just came across an article.
http://addiction.narcononrehab.com
http://addiction.narcononrehab.com/drug-addiction-stories/rise-fall-drug-addict-part-4/
http://www.nj.com/hudson/index.ssf/2009/02/drug_addict_goes_clean_marries.html
p.s.: Nothing doing with me.
I just came across an article.
http://addiction.narcononrehab.com
http://addiction.narcononrehab.com/drug-addiction-stories/rise-fall-drug-addict-part-4/
http://www.nj.com/hudson/index.ssf/2009/02/drug_addict_goes_clean_marries.html
p.s.: Nothing doing with me.
End of the good part inside me.
This will be something that I really really wanna say. Just bear with this people. It's about God.
Well I trusted you, I loved you, I even thought you will make my life better one day, I even thanked you to put her in my life, you know that right. I said I had nothing to ask since I have her in my life. But now, where is everything?? It's like my ex lost the love towards me, I lost the love towards you. I wouldn't thank you for the one year memories coz it's the killer of my whole life. Everything died. May be what I am doing now is just living for the sake of I still have time to enjoy my life before I am dead. I just wanna do everything that I decided to do. Some lost dreams. Everything. Coz I can't find anything that I can trust anymore. Everything I see, I see betrayal, I see pain, I see people faking smiles. Is this what the God have for me?? I didn't asked for money, I didn't ask for luxury life. I just asked you to put her in my life forever. That's all. Is that a lot for you??
Now, I dunno. I went too far to come back. I ran, ran away of the love that I had towards her. I ran, I dunno where I ended up. And now I really don't care. Seriously, nothing matters to me anymore. Even my academic adviser asked me what is matters to you and I answered nothing Miss. She was like well another crap is here. If you planned everything, of coz you know the consequences. When my ex died, I was how stupid a person can be. But when I had the pain in myself, well to tell the truth, she did the right thing.
I dunno. May some people calling me he lost in his world. He is crazy. He is stupid. But when you go through the pain and the betrayal, may be you will know. It's not only ma ex betrayed me, you God, you did it too. I am not the type that fuck the God up, when I had bad time. I didn't do that in my life at all. Only after this break up, seriously, you know how much was that, you know everything coz I always tell you how much she loves me, you took it away. You took something that I kept inside so carefully, that I build with everything I had, that I dreamed every single day. You just took it away. And now, I left with nothing.
May be satan inside me. May be he is showing me the way to hell. Well, if that is the cure, let it be, coz I dunno if I love a girl again, will you keep her in my life forever?? Will you?? Plus, I am not dare enough to fall in love again. When you pour more water inside a filled glass, what will happen?? It will spilled.
p.s: I am equal to a dead body. Well, I am happy coz everything I see, I see money, I see girls, I see drugs.
Well I trusted you, I loved you, I even thought you will make my life better one day, I even thanked you to put her in my life, you know that right. I said I had nothing to ask since I have her in my life. But now, where is everything?? It's like my ex lost the love towards me, I lost the love towards you. I wouldn't thank you for the one year memories coz it's the killer of my whole life. Everything died. May be what I am doing now is just living for the sake of I still have time to enjoy my life before I am dead. I just wanna do everything that I decided to do. Some lost dreams. Everything. Coz I can't find anything that I can trust anymore. Everything I see, I see betrayal, I see pain, I see people faking smiles. Is this what the God have for me?? I didn't asked for money, I didn't ask for luxury life. I just asked you to put her in my life forever. That's all. Is that a lot for you??
Now, I dunno. I went too far to come back. I ran, ran away of the love that I had towards her. I ran, I dunno where I ended up. And now I really don't care. Seriously, nothing matters to me anymore. Even my academic adviser asked me what is matters to you and I answered nothing Miss. She was like well another crap is here. If you planned everything, of coz you know the consequences. When my ex died, I was how stupid a person can be. But when I had the pain in myself, well to tell the truth, she did the right thing.
I dunno. May some people calling me he lost in his world. He is crazy. He is stupid. But when you go through the pain and the betrayal, may be you will know. It's not only ma ex betrayed me, you God, you did it too. I am not the type that fuck the God up, when I had bad time. I didn't do that in my life at all. Only after this break up, seriously, you know how much was that, you know everything coz I always tell you how much she loves me, you took it away. You took something that I kept inside so carefully, that I build with everything I had, that I dreamed every single day. You just took it away. And now, I left with nothing.
May be satan inside me. May be he is showing me the way to hell. Well, if that is the cure, let it be, coz I dunno if I love a girl again, will you keep her in my life forever?? Will you?? Plus, I am not dare enough to fall in love again. When you pour more water inside a filled glass, what will happen?? It will spilled.
p.s: I am equal to a dead body. Well, I am happy coz everything I see, I see money, I see girls, I see drugs.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Weed!!!
No energy to go class. Urgh!! Severe laziness. Now, supposedly I should attend the class, but here I am blogging. Lol!!
Look damn nice eh??
p.s.: I am happy I didn't do anything stupid, coz who wanna see you suffering. It's worth it!!!
Look damn nice eh??
p.s.: I am happy I didn't do anything stupid, coz who wanna see you suffering. It's worth it!!!
Never know there is such bullshit..
*The Secret behind the number 11*
Pretty Chilling - read to the bottom. Try it out.
If you are a skeptical person - still read on as it's actually very
interesting!!
This is actually really freaky!! (Mainly the end part, but read it all
first)
1) New York City has 11 letters
2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb has 11 letters . (The terrorist who threatened to destroy
the Twin Towers in 1993)
4) George W Bush has 11 letters.
This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets interesting:
1) New York is the 11th state.
2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers , was carrying 65 passengers. 6 + 5
= 11
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1
=11
6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911.
Sheer coincidence..?
Read on and make up your own mind:
1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254.
2 + 5 + 4 = 11
2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year.
3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.
Now this is where things get totally eerie:
The most recognized symbol for the US , after the Stars & Stripes, is the
Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Koran, the Islamic holy book:
"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The
wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah while some of
the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the
Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."
That verse is number 9.11 of the Koran.
Unconvinced about all of this still ..?
Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:
Open Microsoft Word and do the following:
1. Type in upper case Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane
to hit one of the Twin Towers .
2. Highlight the Q33 NY.
3. Change the font size to 48.
4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS........................
What do you think now????
p.s.: Freak out when saw the letters. Stupid friend with his e-mail!!!
Pretty Chilling - read to the bottom. Try it out.
If you are a skeptical person - still read on as it's actually very
interesting!!
This is actually really freaky!! (Mainly the end part, but read it all
first)
1) New York City has 11 letters
2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb has 11 letters . (The terrorist who threatened to destroy
the Twin Towers in 1993)
4) George W Bush has 11 letters.
This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets interesting:
1) New York is the 11th state.
2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers , was carrying 65 passengers. 6 + 5
= 11
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1
=11
6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911.
Sheer coincidence..?
Read on and make up your own mind:
1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254.
2 + 5 + 4 = 11
2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year.
3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.
Now this is where things get totally eerie:
The most recognized symbol for the US , after the Stars & Stripes, is the
Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Koran, the Islamic holy book:
"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The
wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah while some of
the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the
Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."
That verse is number 9.11 of the Koran.
Unconvinced about all of this still ..?
Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:
Open Microsoft Word and do the following:
1. Type in upper case Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane
to hit one of the Twin Towers .
2. Highlight the Q33 NY.
3. Change the font size to 48.
4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS........................
What do you think now????
p.s.: Freak out when saw the letters. Stupid friend with his e-mail!!!
Karma.
p.s.: I really don't believe in karma, but now I saw it with my own eyes. I dunno!!! This goes to all the life-sucking bitches of our life.
Fuck those fake words!!!
Today, it was so nice. Sleep all the day. Eat and lazy-ing in front of laptop. Skipped all the classes. Only one of it I went.
Few days before, I and two of my friends had a talk. We went out at 12.30 at night. So, the normal thing, we was smoking. Then, my friend said, yesterday I smoked a lot. Some emotional thing it seems. Then both of them know what is that about. And I don't have any idea. But, they all know how the broke up effected me. So the talk continue. Then, one of us have girlfriend. So, he was quiet and just go with the flow. Then one of them said, she was so perfect. I was thinking inside my heart, why girls always be perfect to guys?? They fake everything. Their words, their attitude. After break up, the true colors revealed. I am not referring all the girls. Well, everybody say something in the joyousness of the stupid love, but why it's hard to forget it?? Even just now, I was just thinking about my ex, everything my ex said is totally opposite of what she is doing now. She said she wouldn't leave me, she left. She said she will never ever hate me, now she hate me. She said there is no hate word exists between us, now she created it. She said she will always love me, GOD, I dunno she still loves me or not. Why those fake words gives us so much of hopes and then took everything what we have??
Then comes the shisha!!! Wohoo!!! So, this means it's gonna be a long talk. Then, they all asked me why I broke up. What should I say?? I wanna forget it. So just a brief explanation. Some of my friends already know that I went to the edge of death. I really did. There is some reasons. Some of my friends know about this. Some make fun of it, some know the pain I was suffering. Well, we talked a lot that day. It was a good experience for me. Lesson I learned, don't give everything to someone, coz if they go, they bring everything. Everything. And you left alone with nothing. The best part which you feel stupid is you still trust them but they don't give a damn about you. Everybody will be selfish no matter what they told or promised to you, when they didn't get what they want.
p.s.: Fuck those words. I am happy with what karma doing now. Time to stop and stare.
Few days before, I and two of my friends had a talk. We went out at 12.30 at night. So, the normal thing, we was smoking. Then, my friend said, yesterday I smoked a lot. Some emotional thing it seems. Then both of them know what is that about. And I don't have any idea. But, they all know how the broke up effected me. So the talk continue. Then, one of us have girlfriend. So, he was quiet and just go with the flow. Then one of them said, she was so perfect. I was thinking inside my heart, why girls always be perfect to guys?? They fake everything. Their words, their attitude. After break up, the true colors revealed. I am not referring all the girls. Well, everybody say something in the joyousness of the stupid love, but why it's hard to forget it?? Even just now, I was just thinking about my ex, everything my ex said is totally opposite of what she is doing now. She said she wouldn't leave me, she left. She said she will never ever hate me, now she hate me. She said there is no hate word exists between us, now she created it. She said she will always love me, GOD, I dunno she still loves me or not. Why those fake words gives us so much of hopes and then took everything what we have??
Then comes the shisha!!! Wohoo!!! So, this means it's gonna be a long talk. Then, they all asked me why I broke up. What should I say?? I wanna forget it. So just a brief explanation. Some of my friends already know that I went to the edge of death. I really did. There is some reasons. Some of my friends know about this. Some make fun of it, some know the pain I was suffering. Well, we talked a lot that day. It was a good experience for me. Lesson I learned, don't give everything to someone, coz if they go, they bring everything. Everything. And you left alone with nothing. The best part which you feel stupid is you still trust them but they don't give a damn about you. Everybody will be selfish no matter what they told or promised to you, when they didn't get what they want.
p.s.: Fuck those words. I am happy with what karma doing now. Time to stop and stare.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Cursed life!!!
Sleeping late is becoming habit now. God!!! I don't want to sleep late all. I try to sleep early, but can't sleep. I dunno what to do. Argh!!! May be I will repair that habit at Penang. Penang, I coming baby!!! So long I didn't smell the seaside. Bloody KL, no seaside, nothing. All they have is tall tall building. Sigh!!! Missed today morning class. Haiz!!! Anyway, guess what?? Karma working well it seems. In my life, I come across many people who suffered coz karma, including me. Mine already over, think so. LOL!!!
May be they should thinking before do something. I dunno, just an opinion. Well, I did mistakes also, nothing is perfect right?? It's how you fix it. Don't just throw words and blame people and claim that you are defending yourself. There is no hell nor heaven, it's just the karma. Nothing you do could change what you did.
p.s.: Some people never learn. Guess karma is the way.
May be they should thinking before do something. I dunno, just an opinion. Well, I did mistakes also, nothing is perfect right?? It's how you fix it. Don't just throw words and blame people and claim that you are defending yourself. There is no hell nor heaven, it's just the karma. Nothing you do could change what you did.
p.s.: Some people never learn. Guess karma is the way.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Lost and found!!!
After the brake up, I was like abandon Linkin Park. I dunno why, all the songs reminds me of her. So, every time Linkin Park song played in Windows Media Player, I will skip the song. Now, I miss those songs!!!
So, now something to start back those addiction.
p.s.: You never know what you have till you missed it.
So, now something to start back those addiction.
p.s.: You never know what you have till you missed it.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Ta-da!!!
Wohoo!! Just finished repairing my blog. It's 6.34 in morning. WTF!!! Seriously, can get addicted. Seriously!!! I did this stuffs, like editing, colors, background and etc. like two days ago and just finished. The worst was the background. I edit a picture but then I can't get the URL. For that, I need to open a account in photobucket, imageshack, or flickr. Then, upload the photo all. So the easy way is to use the pictures inside the net. So, the search started. It was a long way!!! I almost see every pictures in photobucket. Haha!!!
So, this is it. Finished. May be I will change the background. Kinda not satisfied.
p.s.: I came across something when I was searching for the background.
Believe nothing,
No matter where you read it,
Or who has said it,
Not even if I have said it,
Unless it agrees with your own reason,
And your common sense.
-Buddha-
So, this is it. Finished. May be I will change the background. Kinda not satisfied.
p.s.: I came across something when I was searching for the background.
Believe nothing,
No matter where you read it,
Or who has said it,
Not even if I have said it,
Unless it agrees with your own reason,
And your common sense.
-Buddha-
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Bald!!!
It was me last semester. Wanna cut my hair like that again. Wohoo!!!
p.s.: Guess I will wait forever for my lost love.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Creating happiness!!! :D
Last week was fun. Patrick came to meet Laura and at the same time I went to meet Laura. What a coincidence. Then, skipped my class, went Alamanda, watched Obsessed. Actually I watched the movie already. Coz there is no other option, so I wacthed it again. I still enjoyed it even I know the story line. A lot of things happen that day. We was laughing all the way. The first thing is Laura left the key inside her house. It sounds weird, but its Laura, so its possible. LOL!!! Then, on the way to Alamanda, Laura show us the direction to a place which look like (you know those zombie movies) deserted place. Somehow we manage to reach Alamanda. Then another funny thing happen, we all enter the lift at the car park and we was talking normally. But no one pressed the floor button. So, the lift was there for few seconds and we was enjoying talking. Damn ler.
Then watched movie. On the way back, Patrick's friend's car brake down. Run out of fuel. And the best part was he panicked and said " sorry, my car got mat-salleh" to the guard fellow. And the car was moving slowly and three of us inside the car laughing our ass off!!! Then Patrick went with the guard and bought petrol. And that was the first time Laura see how petrol look like. No comments. Then, we went to petrol station and pump. Patrick went to toilet, so thought wanna prank him, so Patrick's friend drove slowly to the car park at the petrol station. But the worst was Patrick somehow came out near the car park there. Haha!!! Then, they left us and went back. Me went back to to hostel room. Then Andrew msn me to go dinner with him. Went out again.
Wow. I am enjoying my life it seems. This Thursday, 23rd of July, I have mid-term exam. So, now started to studying already. Actually I started to study since last week. We go step by step. I am good in doing baby steps. People used to call me slow to catch up something. But that is the way I am. And Laura invite me to go clubbing with her on Thursday. And I don't have anything. So hope I can make it. It's been a while.
I am happy with my current life. I am not expecting anything big. Just a better result. I am planning to do some sacrifices for that. I have to, no other choice.
p.s.: Happiness is something that we should create, not find.
Then watched movie. On the way back, Patrick's friend's car brake down. Run out of fuel. And the best part was he panicked and said " sorry, my car got mat-salleh" to the guard fellow. And the car was moving slowly and three of us inside the car laughing our ass off!!! Then Patrick went with the guard and bought petrol. And that was the first time Laura see how petrol look like. No comments. Then, we went to petrol station and pump. Patrick went to toilet, so thought wanna prank him, so Patrick's friend drove slowly to the car park at the petrol station. But the worst was Patrick somehow came out near the car park there. Haha!!! Then, they left us and went back. Me went back to to hostel room. Then Andrew msn me to go dinner with him. Went out again.
Wow. I am enjoying my life it seems. This Thursday, 23rd of July, I have mid-term exam. So, now started to studying already. Actually I started to study since last week. We go step by step. I am good in doing baby steps. People used to call me slow to catch up something. But that is the way I am. And Laura invite me to go clubbing with her on Thursday. And I don't have anything. So hope I can make it. It's been a while.
I am happy with my current life. I am not expecting anything big. Just a better result. I am planning to do some sacrifices for that. I have to, no other choice.
p.s.: Happiness is something that we should create, not find.
Friday, July 17, 2009
I need help. Anyone, plz!!!
Things that I should not say. There are many. I am just pressing it in my heart. Burying it. Whenever I saw people happy, coupled people happy, I feel like why I didn't have a chance.
Oh God, this is crazy. Totally crazy!!! I mean it's been what, around more than 6 months I broke up. But the love, still smells good. It never died. God damn it!!! I dunno why. I am sick of it. Sometimes anger, sometimes smiles. I felt regret to love her. I really felt it, but then no, it was not regret. It was anger. God!!!
I thought I moved on. But, no, now I realized, I am still there. Like Bri said, I am just hiding it. Deep inside I am not ok. You are right, Bri.
I love her so much. It's like, God, I dunno how to say it. No matter what I did, I still remember her. God, I dunno why you put her in my life. I mean what is the reason?? To gimme a chance to feel the pure love?? No, pure love will never ever end like this. Why I am living in such a mess?? Don't tell me that I made the mess!!!
Is it wrong to love her so much?? Yea, may be you are angry coz I put her before you. Is it coz I love her more than I love you, God?? You know I can't live with or without her. So what you waiting for?? I am praying, God!!! I am praying!!! Please take my life. Coz it's obvious right?? It's a goddamn dead end. Nowhere to go now. Do you want me to wait for my last day?? Coz I am waiting!!!
I realized dying is easier than living. God, why you are taking innocent's life away and don't want to talk my life?? I am tired of this live. May be all this things are just temporary. But it will effect my future. Can't you see??
She spitting on me. She even bring her friend together. On the other hand, it's just ME!!! Hey God, you know it. I am ALL ALONE!!! I need you, seriously, I need you now. Don't turn your back now. Guide me. Hold my hand and drag me to the brighter side. I have the courage to make my life better. I want it too.
p.s.: You are the only, only thing in this world that matters to me. I am sorry to make you clean all the mess that I have done in your life, honey.
Oh God, this is crazy. Totally crazy!!! I mean it's been what, around more than 6 months I broke up. But the love, still smells good. It never died. God damn it!!! I dunno why. I am sick of it. Sometimes anger, sometimes smiles. I felt regret to love her. I really felt it, but then no, it was not regret. It was anger. God!!!
I thought I moved on. But, no, now I realized, I am still there. Like Bri said, I am just hiding it. Deep inside I am not ok. You are right, Bri.
I love her so much. It's like, God, I dunno how to say it. No matter what I did, I still remember her. God, I dunno why you put her in my life. I mean what is the reason?? To gimme a chance to feel the pure love?? No, pure love will never ever end like this. Why I am living in such a mess?? Don't tell me that I made the mess!!!
Is it wrong to love her so much?? Yea, may be you are angry coz I put her before you. Is it coz I love her more than I love you, God?? You know I can't live with or without her. So what you waiting for?? I am praying, God!!! I am praying!!! Please take my life. Coz it's obvious right?? It's a goddamn dead end. Nowhere to go now. Do you want me to wait for my last day?? Coz I am waiting!!!
I realized dying is easier than living. God, why you are taking innocent's life away and don't want to talk my life?? I am tired of this live. May be all this things are just temporary. But it will effect my future. Can't you see??
She spitting on me. She even bring her friend together. On the other hand, it's just ME!!! Hey God, you know it. I am ALL ALONE!!! I need you, seriously, I need you now. Don't turn your back now. Guide me. Hold my hand and drag me to the brighter side. I have the courage to make my life better. I want it too.
p.s.: You are the only, only thing in this world that matters to me. I am sorry to make you clean all the mess that I have done in your life, honey.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Secret Valentine - We The Kings
Can't believe that my ex-girlfriend is still reading my blog. I am happy and the same time I am not feeling happy. Well, I am used to this kind of feelings, so I can handle this with no worries. Something that everyone should know, no matter what kind of words or how yall treating me, it's not gonna hurt me, coz nothing is left to be hurt. I manage to erase the love in my life. May be not all, but most of it.
p.s.: There is a phrase which I really like to say. "If your friend ask you to eat shit, will you??" Well, there are some people like that. Trust me people, I knew some.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
If only words can express..
Something I should remember my whole life.=D
The day that never comes.Pictures express what words can't.
p.s.: Miss you, angel.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
My obsession with hair!!!
So in love with her hair!!!
My heart skip a beat every time I meet a girl like this..
Wohooooooooooo!!!!!
p.s.: Sorry wei, no one else hair like this, I can only think about your photo. So, I am sorry!!!
:p
Erase the love.
If you compare my life with yours, sure you will say yours worst than mine. But, it's not. You lived every moment in your life, even it makes your condition worst, you had it all. Me, I missed everything, the moment I should have in particular age, I missed it. You live in a world where you do anything without thinking about it's consequences. In my world, everything matter, no matter how small it is.
Every time I wanna move on, it reminds me how bad I treated the girl who loved me so much. I totally sucks in relationship. A lot of love is not enough to make a girl happy. I don't want to put you in this situation and erase those love that you store for me. Recent broke-up left a lot of lessons and scars and it keep reminding me how bad I am. I am the one did those things to her, I made her cry, I tortured her, called her with inappropriate names, I brought all those pain in her life.
No matter what, your world is different, mine is different. Even though we have many in common, it varies in many ways. I live in a world where I have to fake everything and I don't want to pull you in. You might fall in love with me or already fell, but I don't have anything anymore to make you happy. I am damaged. Don't get me wrong if I did something sweet or helped you. Please I want you in my life, as a friend is enough. Because if we get into a relationship, eventually my past will repeat again and you will go far far away from me. I wanna see your face with those smile. I don't wanna destroy what you have now. Just let it be like this.
I wanna love you. As much as I can. But, when I think about all those pain, I can't. I just don't wanna hurt myself again. I am done with love and relationships. It's time for me to bury my feelings deep down inside me. I am in a world where I hate everything and erasing all the love in my life. But, you in a world where you want to create love. You deserve a better guy.
I am sorry. Sometimes, I feel like I don't want to replace my ex,she is the most beautiful thing that happen to be in my life, sometimes, I am scared that I will hurt you like I did to her. Do you want me to feel scared every time I say I love you?? I am sorry.
p.s.: Sorry to love you, honey.
Every time I wanna move on, it reminds me how bad I treated the girl who loved me so much. I totally sucks in relationship. A lot of love is not enough to make a girl happy. I don't want to put you in this situation and erase those love that you store for me. Recent broke-up left a lot of lessons and scars and it keep reminding me how bad I am. I am the one did those things to her, I made her cry, I tortured her, called her with inappropriate names, I brought all those pain in her life.
No matter what, your world is different, mine is different. Even though we have many in common, it varies in many ways. I live in a world where I have to fake everything and I don't want to pull you in. You might fall in love with me or already fell, but I don't have anything anymore to make you happy. I am damaged. Don't get me wrong if I did something sweet or helped you. Please I want you in my life, as a friend is enough. Because if we get into a relationship, eventually my past will repeat again and you will go far far away from me. I wanna see your face with those smile. I don't wanna destroy what you have now. Just let it be like this.
I wanna love you. As much as I can. But, when I think about all those pain, I can't. I just don't wanna hurt myself again. I am done with love and relationships. It's time for me to bury my feelings deep down inside me. I am in a world where I hate everything and erasing all the love in my life. But, you in a world where you want to create love. You deserve a better guy.
I am sorry. Sometimes, I feel like I don't want to replace my ex,she is the most beautiful thing that happen to be in my life, sometimes, I am scared that I will hurt you like I did to her. Do you want me to feel scared every time I say I love you?? I am sorry.
p.s.: Sorry to love you, honey.
Monday, June 29, 2009
RIP Michael Jackson!!!
Since small, I was obsessed with his outfit. The glove, those jacket and the details on the jacket.
p.s.: Legends are who die and make the whole world cry. And they live in those tears.
I need motivation..
It really hard to do want someone else want you to do. I really really hard. I am trying!!! But my results still the same. I need to increase my pointer. Coz it's not gonna worth anything to me if the pointer same like this. This semester, only 4 subject. No more failing!!! Hope can score. I need it. I need motivation. I need something that will make me realize that there is hope. I am sick of it. No matter how hard I tried, why always I failed?? Is it coz this is not my destiny?? Yea, I know this is not my dream. But, this is the situation. Nothing that I can do to change anything. It's already 2nd year. All I can do is just finish it. Then, hunt my dreams. But, I need to at least do well in this course.
I just dunno. Sometimes, I feel like withdraw the course and do whatever I wanna do. Sometimes, I feel like I can do it, it just another 2 years, study hard!!! But, if I always fail like this, there will be no hope and trust will be left.
Whatever it is, this semester, no fail, no C. Hope so. Pray for me people!!!
p.s.: Last night I cried thinking of you, angel!!!
I just dunno. Sometimes, I feel like withdraw the course and do whatever I wanna do. Sometimes, I feel like I can do it, it just another 2 years, study hard!!! But, if I always fail like this, there will be no hope and trust will be left.
Whatever it is, this semester, no fail, no C. Hope so. Pray for me people!!!
p.s.: Last night I cried thinking of you, angel!!!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Happy Buffday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
To better or worst, we are apart. Temporary or permanent, we had those memories with us forever.
To better or worst, we are apart. Temporary or permanent, we had those memories with us forever.
p.s.: I hope you are fine. You favorite color : purple. My only post in purple color.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Boredom..
Boredom killing me. I tried to chat with many people, but they don't feed my boredom. So, here I am, telling stories to feed my own boredom.
There is something common happens to me every time. I will be a good friend to anyone very quick. Anyone is actually not everybody. I keep them happy, I respect them. I dunno what I will do wrong and they will started to ignoring me. Why they can't understand that they are so precious to me?? It's not only about girlfriends, it's about friends too. Do I am annoying?? Do I talking crap till yall get hurt??
p.s.: I'm used to it. Why I'm still thinking the life is still fair??
There is something common happens to me every time. I will be a good friend to anyone very quick. Anyone is actually not everybody. I keep them happy, I respect them. I dunno what I will do wrong and they will started to ignoring me. Why they can't understand that they are so precious to me?? It's not only about girlfriends, it's about friends too. Do I am annoying?? Do I talking crap till yall get hurt??
p.s.: I'm used to it. Why I'm still thinking the life is still fair??
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Live like a cannon ball..
I realized something. When Prena cried, and she keep on "please, please", I realized that, I should appreciate this friendship. After the incident happen between me and my best-friend, the betrayal. My point of view about friendship was they all just friends and they can get a new friend if I go away. But, the way Prena said, I was shocked. Thanks a lot. You saved my life.
Esther, I dunno what to say. You was in my friend list in MSN. We chat like 3 times before this?? I dunno why, all of sudden, we get so close. When you asked me to join you do the online thing, I was like do I need to take this responsibility?? She gonna be disappointed if I did something to myself. Then, about the trip, I was shocked. Why this kind of offer is coming to me when I decided to end my life. Even you asked me not to do that. Thanks.
Andrew, brother from another mother. I am crying when I think about our friendship. I dunno why. Thanks for the company. Thanks for the friednship. I will make sure it last forever. I will make sure it last longer. I learnt something. I learnt the meaning of friendship.
Farouq, you gave me space to hang out, everytime I felt alone. Even I moved to hostle, I spent most night at your room. I even got your habit. May be stay with you for 1 year, you influenced me. LOL!!!
By the way, I am ok now. Thanks. I wanna feel the friendship-ness. You all made me stronger.
p.s.: Andrew words: Live like a cannon ball.
Esther, I dunno what to say. You was in my friend list in MSN. We chat like 3 times before this?? I dunno why, all of sudden, we get so close. When you asked me to join you do the online thing, I was like do I need to take this responsibility?? She gonna be disappointed if I did something to myself. Then, about the trip, I was shocked. Why this kind of offer is coming to me when I decided to end my life. Even you asked me not to do that. Thanks.
Andrew, brother from another mother. I am crying when I think about our friendship. I dunno why. Thanks for the company. Thanks for the friednship. I will make sure it last forever. I will make sure it last longer. I learnt something. I learnt the meaning of friendship.
Farouq, you gave me space to hang out, everytime I felt alone. Even I moved to hostle, I spent most night at your room. I even got your habit. May be stay with you for 1 year, you influenced me. LOL!!!
By the way, I am ok now. Thanks. I wanna feel the friendship-ness. You all made me stronger.
p.s.: Andrew words: Live like a cannon ball.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
1st June
1st June.
A whole complete year I meet you. Still remember, honey?? Do you still remember?? The day where I decided your are my everything. The day I wanted to make you happy no matter what. The day I kissed you. It's even the first day I see your face after so long both of us in relationship.
I admit I hurt you a lot. But, honey, I love you a lot at the same time. After so much thing you did, I still love you. Why is that so?? Why you think about the hurt that I made, but ignore the love towards you?? I will do whatever you want me to do, please come back.
You even know I love you a lot. How can you do this to me?? I promise I will never make it happen again. Please gimme a chance. I know you gave me a lot. And every time I tried. And I failed. Don't let me like this, please. I wanna go the place we went together. To feel the love.
p.s.: You know how weak I am now.
A whole complete year I meet you. Still remember, honey?? Do you still remember?? The day where I decided your are my everything. The day I wanted to make you happy no matter what. The day I kissed you. It's even the first day I see your face after so long both of us in relationship.
I admit I hurt you a lot. But, honey, I love you a lot at the same time. After so much thing you did, I still love you. Why is that so?? Why you think about the hurt that I made, but ignore the love towards you?? I will do whatever you want me to do, please come back.
You even know I love you a lot. How can you do this to me?? I promise I will never make it happen again. Please gimme a chance. I know you gave me a lot. And every time I tried. And I failed. Don't let me like this, please. I wanna go the place we went together. To feel the love.
p.s.: You know how weak I am now.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
RIP
Everybody have their past. Experience change all in your life. It change the way you think, your point of view. It change the way you talk, react to something, even your every inch of anything change. My past was something I called nothing. My parents been too protective and blocked all my childhood moments that I suppose to have like other normal children. All I did was watching all my schoolmates playing while I hold the gate and cried inside. I grew in a situation where people change their words so fast and they don’t care about the wound inside. Every day, I wanted go outside and play with my friends, I wanted spend time with them. But, the love, over-protective, made me seat inside four walls alone. I wish things will change, they will gimme freedom and I can live like other normal child. I always wanted to play football like my friend. Join them. But then, my parents took it away, just coz they knew a guy which his life spoiled coz of playing football. Why I can’t be a lil bit different from him?? Why?? They always say when I became a lil bigger, particular age, I will let you do this, I will buy you this. But nothing happens. LIED. My live always been in disappointment. I always waited for my dad to buy something I like. Something I want. But, even to buy a shirt, I have to follow their taste. Although they knew that I don’t like it, I have to wear it. FORCED. There were days I saw my dad drunk and disappeared the whole night. There were days my mom curse my dad. There were days I listen all the gossips between my sisters and my mom. There were days I saw my dad fight with a stranger and broke his nose. There were days I tried to break my fingers. There were days I heard my dad kissed someone through phone. You don’t know how it feels when your own mom curse and disrespect your own dad. You don’t know how it feels when your dad went out at night before you sleep and when you wake up and try find your dad, you asked your mom, she said I dunno where is your dad. You all just dunno. Even when I was in primary school, I wanted to kill myself. I find my live is nothing. I even tell something in my heart every time I saw my parents, why don’t you all keep a dog and spend money for it, if you want to control me?? I am not worth it as a son. I realized there is someone inside me started to grow. I always make people laugh and there where I learned to laugh. But, since long ago, I learned to fake my feelings, to show my parents that everything is fine. Got once, when my family came for my medical check-up, in front of my dad, my sister asked me do you know why dad brought you to this expensive hospital and trying to cure you?? I said I dunno. She said later after they become old, you should look after of them. So, they doing this not coz they love me, they just wanna make sure I will take care of them. I felt like shit, hurt, pain. I was wondering, am I their biological son?? I was left in darkness wondering is there love?? Pure love?? Even my dad said that my cousin will take care of him when he becomes old. Then me?? What happen to me?? Died?? It hurts me so much and you dad, I always tried to forget and forgive you. I am sorry. I can’t. I tried.
There is something every guy will go through. At one point of your life, you will try to be like your dad. And I went through it. I started to learn how to sign like my dad. I started to comb my hair like him. I started to walk like him. But after around 2 years, I realized it just every guy will go through, so it’s normal. But before I realized, I was scared that I will be like him, I will be what I don’t want to be. There was where I started to hate him. Coz I don’t want to be him. When I entered secondary school, things got worse, I started to realize they draw a circle around me. Of course I been outside the circle, but every time I tried to come back to the circle, they will caught me. They always say my eyes will show my honesty. And every time they caught me, the circle will shrink. There was where I started to find love outside my home, girlfriend. Till now I dunno what is love. I have been with a girl for one year without touching her. I have been with a girl for one year, I gave her everything, touch, care, loyalty. I dunno what I missed. Evert time they dump me, a huge part of me die, a huge part of my dream fade, my vision of future brake into pieces. I always adapt a lot from my girlfriend. Coz I dunno my own identity. May be I don’t have one. I adapt their hobbies, the way they talk, their favorites, etc. And every time they go away, I was nothing but just a piece of crap with an empty inside. They leave a hole behind. It bleeds. Sometimes my heart shouts, but I stand there helpless looking it bleeding, suffering. I had many conflicts within myself since I was small. My high school’s friends always say I am rude, stubborn, arrogant, etc. I hide my wounds, try to stop it bleeding, so I showed anger to overcome my pain. I learn something from every girl I loved. I learnt to give space, freedom, loyalty, love, and everything whatever you can for someone you love. The recent girl I broke up, I gave everything. She lifted me up, erase my past, gimme a reason to live. But then it repeated again. Why everything meant to broken?? When I was in secondary school, a new me was born inside me. I started to hate. Lil by lil. My friends always ask me to go out and play football. And every time I answered I see first. But then, I knew the answer, I can’t come. Just to cover. Out of 365 days, I can tell I will go out with my friends about 10 days. That’s all. Other days, spent inside the four walls. They will check my beg, even when I was in high school. There was always no trust. As time pass by, I lost mine too. They smell my school shirt to check I am smoking or not. I felt like someone takes a needle and poke my heart many times. My parents always wanna be proud of me, but then they forget that life is not about proud, it’s about teaching me how to live my life. They should teach me how to overcome pain, but indeed they added my pain. I gave up on my life, I did all my dad wanted. I started to study what he wanted. For them studying overseas is a huge thing. So that, all the people will talk that my dad manage to send his son to overseas. They need something so that people will talk proud of them. Do you ever think, how much of time and everything I will miss if I go away?? I just wanna spend time with you all. But then I gave up, tired of searching love within my parents, so I went away. Collage life. I started to smoke. I did all the things they forbid me to do. The girl that I loved when I was in collage taught me that life isn’t just doing whatever comes. Although it was just a lil while, she didn’t hurt me at all. Even now, she talks to me like we used to. But then, my parents forced me, they pushed me. I get fed up and planned to go far away. I can even do the bloody course at Penang too. Before I go, I met this girl. Both of us get to know online-ly, and then I get to know that she going through the same thing like me. So, I intend to make her feel better. I settled her problem. Indeed, she was the first girl that I chatted in MSN. Even that was the time, I started to use Internet in my whole life, after my collage life. I started to love her attitude, the way she is, her perfections, her imperfections, everything. I loved her even though I dunno how she looks like. So, like I always do, I build a dream, a future. She brings out the better me out from me. She showed me the way to live. She taught me a lot. Coz of her I went through a lil moment of teenager. When I entered university, I realized that all my teen life is nothing. When I saw a 15 year old girl having msn, mobile phone, etc, I am jealous. I want that life. Why my parents don’t understand?? I spent my teen life in the four walls. My life always has been these four walls. You create a world like this to me, dad. I hate when you treat my friend as a teenager and you ignore me, can’t you see I am there. I hate when you compare me with everybody. Owh dad, you just don’t understand. You put me through this pain and you asking me “how are you??’. How can you expect me to smile when the pain inside is tearing me apart?? How you can ask me how is your studies, when you know it was your choice?? How dad, how??
When I look back my life now, I saw me crying alone in darkness. When I think about my friends, I can see the betrayal my friend put me through. When I think about girlfriend, I see only a face and her smile. Everything changed me into something I don’t know, I am cutting myself now. To know that the pain inside is more than or less than the pain on my skin. Now I have really true, nice friendship, the whole bunch of friends in my university. You all know who you are. Thank you for all you all did. From you all I realized what friendship is. You all can reduce my pain, but no one can erase it. The pain amplify when the night comes, the tears pour and I am lost in the darkness.
I was always trusted you God. But then after I tried so much, I believed so much, after I asked only one thing in this whole world, you took all away. Now, there is no more trust. You are just an imaginary. Everybody blame you for what they been through and thanked for what they have. But, things always change. And the changes were not coz of you, huh?? So, why I should trust there is God?? If there is God, if he loved me, cared about me, heard my apologies, why I am in so much of pain now?? Why I am always in pain??
Guess this is it. Dead end. For everybody, thank you so much and I am sorry. Forgive me for the mistake I done, the words that hurts you all. When you read this, please realize that there was worst life out there. And you are stronger than me to stand and fight back. Don’t let the worst of you to rule, coz you never know how it feels. If death can be bought from Satan (or whatever it is), I bought it long ago. Now I am creating my own.
p.s.: Don't regret for what you did, coz it's too late. -RIP-
There is something every guy will go through. At one point of your life, you will try to be like your dad. And I went through it. I started to learn how to sign like my dad. I started to comb my hair like him. I started to walk like him. But after around 2 years, I realized it just every guy will go through, so it’s normal. But before I realized, I was scared that I will be like him, I will be what I don’t want to be. There was where I started to hate him. Coz I don’t want to be him. When I entered secondary school, things got worse, I started to realize they draw a circle around me. Of course I been outside the circle, but every time I tried to come back to the circle, they will caught me. They always say my eyes will show my honesty. And every time they caught me, the circle will shrink. There was where I started to find love outside my home, girlfriend. Till now I dunno what is love. I have been with a girl for one year without touching her. I have been with a girl for one year, I gave her everything, touch, care, loyalty. I dunno what I missed. Evert time they dump me, a huge part of me die, a huge part of my dream fade, my vision of future brake into pieces. I always adapt a lot from my girlfriend. Coz I dunno my own identity. May be I don’t have one. I adapt their hobbies, the way they talk, their favorites, etc. And every time they go away, I was nothing but just a piece of crap with an empty inside. They leave a hole behind. It bleeds. Sometimes my heart shouts, but I stand there helpless looking it bleeding, suffering. I had many conflicts within myself since I was small. My high school’s friends always say I am rude, stubborn, arrogant, etc. I hide my wounds, try to stop it bleeding, so I showed anger to overcome my pain. I learn something from every girl I loved. I learnt to give space, freedom, loyalty, love, and everything whatever you can for someone you love. The recent girl I broke up, I gave everything. She lifted me up, erase my past, gimme a reason to live. But then it repeated again. Why everything meant to broken?? When I was in secondary school, a new me was born inside me. I started to hate. Lil by lil. My friends always ask me to go out and play football. And every time I answered I see first. But then, I knew the answer, I can’t come. Just to cover. Out of 365 days, I can tell I will go out with my friends about 10 days. That’s all. Other days, spent inside the four walls. They will check my beg, even when I was in high school. There was always no trust. As time pass by, I lost mine too. They smell my school shirt to check I am smoking or not. I felt like someone takes a needle and poke my heart many times. My parents always wanna be proud of me, but then they forget that life is not about proud, it’s about teaching me how to live my life. They should teach me how to overcome pain, but indeed they added my pain. I gave up on my life, I did all my dad wanted. I started to study what he wanted. For them studying overseas is a huge thing. So that, all the people will talk that my dad manage to send his son to overseas. They need something so that people will talk proud of them. Do you ever think, how much of time and everything I will miss if I go away?? I just wanna spend time with you all. But then I gave up, tired of searching love within my parents, so I went away. Collage life. I started to smoke. I did all the things they forbid me to do. The girl that I loved when I was in collage taught me that life isn’t just doing whatever comes. Although it was just a lil while, she didn’t hurt me at all. Even now, she talks to me like we used to. But then, my parents forced me, they pushed me. I get fed up and planned to go far away. I can even do the bloody course at Penang too. Before I go, I met this girl. Both of us get to know online-ly, and then I get to know that she going through the same thing like me. So, I intend to make her feel better. I settled her problem. Indeed, she was the first girl that I chatted in MSN. Even that was the time, I started to use Internet in my whole life, after my collage life. I started to love her attitude, the way she is, her perfections, her imperfections, everything. I loved her even though I dunno how she looks like. So, like I always do, I build a dream, a future. She brings out the better me out from me. She showed me the way to live. She taught me a lot. Coz of her I went through a lil moment of teenager. When I entered university, I realized that all my teen life is nothing. When I saw a 15 year old girl having msn, mobile phone, etc, I am jealous. I want that life. Why my parents don’t understand?? I spent my teen life in the four walls. My life always has been these four walls. You create a world like this to me, dad. I hate when you treat my friend as a teenager and you ignore me, can’t you see I am there. I hate when you compare me with everybody. Owh dad, you just don’t understand. You put me through this pain and you asking me “how are you??’. How can you expect me to smile when the pain inside is tearing me apart?? How you can ask me how is your studies, when you know it was your choice?? How dad, how??
When I look back my life now, I saw me crying alone in darkness. When I think about my friends, I can see the betrayal my friend put me through. When I think about girlfriend, I see only a face and her smile. Everything changed me into something I don’t know, I am cutting myself now. To know that the pain inside is more than or less than the pain on my skin. Now I have really true, nice friendship, the whole bunch of friends in my university. You all know who you are. Thank you for all you all did. From you all I realized what friendship is. You all can reduce my pain, but no one can erase it. The pain amplify when the night comes, the tears pour and I am lost in the darkness.
I was always trusted you God. But then after I tried so much, I believed so much, after I asked only one thing in this whole world, you took all away. Now, there is no more trust. You are just an imaginary. Everybody blame you for what they been through and thanked for what they have. But, things always change. And the changes were not coz of you, huh?? So, why I should trust there is God?? If there is God, if he loved me, cared about me, heard my apologies, why I am in so much of pain now?? Why I am always in pain??
Guess this is it. Dead end. For everybody, thank you so much and I am sorry. Forgive me for the mistake I done, the words that hurts you all. When you read this, please realize that there was worst life out there. And you are stronger than me to stand and fight back. Don’t let the worst of you to rule, coz you never know how it feels. If death can be bought from Satan (or whatever it is), I bought it long ago. Now I am creating my own.
p.s.: Don't regret for what you did, coz it's too late. -RIP-
Thanks...
Although you didn't come direct, I saw you in the car. I saw your face. I still remember the moment. I saw what I want. I dunno how I can say this. You still look cute like last time. Even you make my heart bleed, you thrust deep inside my heart, I still care about you. My heart is full of love. Good bye.
p.s.: Thanks a lot.
p.s.: Thanks a lot.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Hunger of love...
I realized something today. Lemme tell the whole story. Today was something new for me. When to Farouq place around 1.30 a.m. Then, as planned long ago me and my friend to go Penang at 3.30~4.00 a.m. Planned to sleep, but then the darkness did it usual stuff. I realized how much deep I love her. Sitting at the balcony alone in darkness with a nice windy air, I realized that live not gonna be as beautiful as those days anymore. Then, we leaved at 5.00 a.m. Actually we dont really know the way. Andrew the bastard, keep on asking me as though I am from KL. Then, somehow we found it and reached Penang around 10.30 a.m. Then go to the motel and check-in. All of sudden, they all wanna sleep. I was like you all come all the way to Penang to sleep. I am so touched. Then, somehow, they all bath and wanna go eat. Then go eat at Penang Road. Then, somehow, I give direction to a place that I never been and we reached. Phew!!! After that, Andrew fetch me to jetty. Take ferry and then bus, reached home.
I realized that I should never ever be happy. Coz I nearly cried at ferry. When the wind blows, it brings back the memories. Tomorrow I wanna meet her. All the tiny tiny hopes few months ago, now amplified and I know nothing else gonna happen, but I will control my heart if I can do that. Hunger of her love. My heart is starving. Now it's getting worst and worst. Those memories, those calls I made in my room, those conversion on the bed, now seems like really close to me. I miss those moment.
I dunno why nowadays got many girls trying to be my friend. Before I blog, someone miss called me. Then I sms and ask who is this. Then they started to talk like I care who is that. Cant you all see?? I am nothing else, just a rubbish in this world. I am damaged. Why you all wanna have a friend like me?? Leave me alone. I love the pain more than anyone. Let the pain cuddle me, pamper me.
p.s.: I wish I can make it. I wish I can meet you. I will let you know.
I realized that I should never ever be happy. Coz I nearly cried at ferry. When the wind blows, it brings back the memories. Tomorrow I wanna meet her. All the tiny tiny hopes few months ago, now amplified and I know nothing else gonna happen, but I will control my heart if I can do that. Hunger of her love. My heart is starving. Now it's getting worst and worst. Those memories, those calls I made in my room, those conversion on the bed, now seems like really close to me. I miss those moment.
I dunno why nowadays got many girls trying to be my friend. Before I blog, someone miss called me. Then I sms and ask who is this. Then they started to talk like I care who is that. Cant you all see?? I am nothing else, just a rubbish in this world. I am damaged. Why you all wanna have a friend like me?? Leave me alone. I love the pain more than anyone. Let the pain cuddle me, pamper me.
p.s.: I wish I can make it. I wish I can meet you. I will let you know.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Is there any??
I still miss you. You still here. Messing with my stuffs, throwing away my pillow, disturbing my sleep in middle of night. When I sleep, you are there. When I close my eyes for peace, you are there. When I wanna give up, you are there. When I need you, your words are there. When I need your kiss, the kisses seems to be alive back. When I need your hug, your arms seems to be around me. When I am worried, your fingers seems touching my hair. But then, is there love?? I mean not my stupid imagination, is there any small piece??
The day is coming, I am happy yet there are massive pain inside is killing me. You gonna disappear from my life. I dunno whether it's forever or just temporary. And the worst painful part is I cant do anything to avoid it. Is there any way?? Is there any hope?? Will you hug me when I come and meet you?? Will you shout at me and insult me in front everybody?? Why I intend to live in fake world which I create for nothing?? Do you still care about me??
p.s.: a step I put towards the white light.
The day is coming, I am happy yet there are massive pain inside is killing me. You gonna disappear from my life. I dunno whether it's forever or just temporary. And the worst painful part is I cant do anything to avoid it. Is there any way?? Is there any hope?? Will you hug me when I come and meet you?? Will you shout at me and insult me in front everybody?? Why I intend to live in fake world which I create for nothing?? Do you still care about me??
p.s.: a step I put towards the white light.
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Monday, May 25, 2009
It repeat again..
Is this why you invite me?? To talk like that?? I thought you knew about me. Well, you even said you read my horoscope and said I cant forget what people said to me. I hate people with their friends seat together talk about what I did. If it was stupid, let it be. I mention it clearly, it's not about her attention. At least I tried to kill my pain, even though I did stupid stuff. Look at yourself. You are just hiding it, by saying you killed the monster and blah blah blah. Continue your bullshit. Can't you see?? You are still in the hole.
p.s.: Why the fuck it happens to be you to said that??
p.s.: Why the fuck it happens to be you to said that??
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Starting..
I dunno why I did this. I was smoking, then I came back to my room and start cutting myself. Pain everywhere. I am not trying to get her attention. It just I wanna kill the pain. I have exam tomorrow morning. I am not prepared at all. I fed up with my life. I did it last week, now I am doing it again, guess I am addicted.
p.s.: This is just the starting, dont ask me the ending. I need a new penknife.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Memories!!!
I lost the thing that I love to do. Sleep. Destroyed. I lost the thing I love most. You. We usually call around this time. I still remember you said "I wanna hear your sleepy voice, cute ler". I even got shout once "I wanna sleep". Got once, we had misunderstanding and you called me when I was sleeping. I didn't realize it. And you keep on calling till I woke up and answer your call. After that I saw got 30+ missed calls. Got once when you was at India, I called early morning, and this time you shout, "I wanna sleep". Although I dont like people yell at me, but that was cute. After that, I called again few days after, you was damn into sleep and you answered me "ehm" for all I said. I said I love you also you "ehm". Swt. I smiled all the way till fall asleep. With that memories, now I will go sleep. Good night. But then, now I feel like wanna call you. I so miss your voice. So long I never heard the word "boo" and I say "honey baby". I just realized. I know you gonna hate me more after you read this. I am sorry.
p.s.: My love still look beautiful even though you throw it away and step on it. I dunno why.
p.s.: My love still look beautiful even though you throw it away and step on it. I dunno why.
Nothing...
I dunno what to say. So fast, I have been replaced?? It's funny how things work huh?? I am not jealous. I would not disturb you or threaten you. Come on, it's your life, you have rights to do anything you want. Who am I?? If this is what you want, what can I do?? Go on.
I have 2 weeks plus. I wanna go everywhere we have been. May be it will make me happy. Thanks to gimme chance to fight back. May be you learn something from that. I thought I made you stronger. But then, you are still the same. Afraid to face the reality. My only request, please dont end up like me.May be now you will reply "no" or "never". Things change as time past by like your love. You seems happy. Why I wanna destroy that?? I wish I can give up on you, move on, but I cant. I just cant. This love is like a leech. It sticks on my heart and sucking my life out. I dunno when it's gonna stop sucking. Guess when there is nothing left. I am sick of this. Figuring out what I should do now. I am lost. Totally lost!!!
I hate when the night falls. When the darkness come and mess my feelings. Go away. I dont want to sleep. I dont want to dream. Go away!!! Please. Although my fear was darkness, I love darkness. Most of time I will in my dark room alone. But now, I am scared of it. Coz last time you was the light in the dark. Look what you did to me?? I am not blaming. Just look. Keep aside your anger, it's not gonna protect you forever. Just look!!!
Now, I dont have the rights to say "I miss you" anymore. Coz I know how a guy feels when his girlfriend's ex disturbing her. Coz he used to do that when she was mine. Now, she knows where to poke to hurt me. Guess I revealed my weakness to her. I want you to know this, I tried as much as I can and nothing changed. I dont want you to say that I did not try hard. I encouraged you to keep in touch with your friends. I used to hack your Friendster profile and comment on your friend's profile. I just wanted you to spend your time with them. I just want you to continue live like how you lived before I was there. I even settled misunderstanding between you and your friend. And look now, all of them againsting me. I dunno why. I just dunno.
p.s.: I know you hate this. But, I dunno why there always no option in my life.
I have 2 weeks plus. I wanna go everywhere we have been. May be it will make me happy. Thanks to gimme chance to fight back. May be you learn something from that. I thought I made you stronger. But then, you are still the same. Afraid to face the reality. My only request, please dont end up like me.May be now you will reply "no" or "never". Things change as time past by like your love. You seems happy. Why I wanna destroy that?? I wish I can give up on you, move on, but I cant. I just cant. This love is like a leech. It sticks on my heart and sucking my life out. I dunno when it's gonna stop sucking. Guess when there is nothing left. I am sick of this. Figuring out what I should do now. I am lost. Totally lost!!!
I hate when the night falls. When the darkness come and mess my feelings. Go away. I dont want to sleep. I dont want to dream. Go away!!! Please. Although my fear was darkness, I love darkness. Most of time I will in my dark room alone. But now, I am scared of it. Coz last time you was the light in the dark. Look what you did to me?? I am not blaming. Just look. Keep aside your anger, it's not gonna protect you forever. Just look!!!
Now, I dont have the rights to say "I miss you" anymore. Coz I know how a guy feels when his girlfriend's ex disturbing her. Coz he used to do that when she was mine. Now, she knows where to poke to hurt me. Guess I revealed my weakness to her. I want you to know this, I tried as much as I can and nothing changed. I dont want you to say that I did not try hard. I encouraged you to keep in touch with your friends. I used to hack your Friendster profile and comment on your friend's profile. I just wanted you to spend your time with them. I just want you to continue live like how you lived before I was there. I even settled misunderstanding between you and your friend. And look now, all of them againsting me. I dunno why. I just dunno.
p.s.: I know you hate this. But, I dunno why there always no option in my life.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Stupid e-mail...
I realized something when I read an e-mail. From the e-mail, the conclusion is when there is peace, there will be faith. When there is faith, there will be love. When there is love, there will be hope.
Look how nicely they linked each other. Where is my peace?? Why you destroy it and tell me it's for both of us goodness?? Actually, it's for you. You are the selfish. You want the best for you. You want more and you asked. Pity, that was all I have. I did all I can. You became greedy and destroy all I had.
p.s.: The word "nicely", reminds me of her. She usually used that. "nicely squeezing", "I wanna whack you nicely". Hahaha.
Look how nicely they linked each other. Where is my peace?? Why you destroy it and tell me it's for both of us goodness?? Actually, it's for you. You are the selfish. You want the best for you. You want more and you asked. Pity, that was all I have. I did all I can. You became greedy and destroy all I had.
p.s.: The word "nicely", reminds me of her. She usually used that. "nicely squeezing", "I wanna whack you nicely". Hahaha.
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