Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Can men cry??


I still remember my ex asked me a question. Can men cry?? Well, guess, now she know the answer.

http://corvedacosta.wordpress.com/2009/07/18/can-men-cry

p.s.: They are soft, insecure, wimps, cry babies, sissies, bitches, other degrading words are used, and the list goes on.

16th Nov.

-16th November-

Yea, it's my very own,one and the only birthday. Well, last year birthday was so nice. This year birthday, spent most of the night with my friend. To tell the truth, they are the cure for the pain inside me. But then, I can't expect them to be there all the time right. Everybody have their own life to live. Their own problem to handle with. Well, the pain is back again. Alone, in the dark, I lost myself again. What I did till she can't even wish me Happy Birthday?? Now, it's clear that I am a stranger to her.

I miss the way she touch me, the way she squeeze my hand.
I miss the way she hug my arm.
I miss the way she stand beside me.
I miss the way she hug me.
I miss the way she kiss my cheek.
I miss the way she lean on me.
I miss her.

What's the use to love her anymore?? If I know the way to kill this love inside my heart, I will do it. I don't care what else I'm gonna loss, I will just do it.

p.s.: I need to carry this my whole life.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

I'm suffocating!!!

It's been a painful day. This never happen when I'm at Cyber. Don't know how come, it's back. Well, when I'm at home, Penang, I used to sneeze a lot, I mean, really a lot. From early age itself, I got sinus. I used to sneezed like almost 50 times, even more than that within 1 hour. Just imagine how you feel if you sneeze non-stop. Well, I don't know how y'all will feel, but I feel pain in my chest plus with suffocating. When for check-ups, the doctor keep on recommending more powerful drug, just because I'm too young for the operation. So, my parents stopped me from the medication. Then, they forced me to try Chinese traditional treatment, it worked during the treatment, after the treatment, the sneezing thing came back.

So, after high school, I went college. Well, it becomes better. No more flu in the morning, no more sneezing problem. But then, I started to smoke. Till now, I don't know, smoking making it worst or not. Definitely smoking not gonna make it better. It just now I feel like people like me shouldn't smoke at all. Now, I can't sleep. I'm suffocating. I can feel that I can't breathe normally. It's not that I'm scared that I will die. It just I can't express what I'm feeling now. Those chest pain, stomach feels like numb, itchy throat, itchy nose, and at the same time, the nose hurts so much.

Can say most of my night something like this. I have to change my position just to make sure I can breath properly. Sometimes I wake up with a nose blocked, I mean totally blocked. Whatever stuck there, it would not go in neither come out. Have to breath using my mouth. Sometimes I woke up with a dry throat, just because I sleep with open mouth for a long time.

Well, that's all. Need to try to sleep. I hope I have something to make me sleep.

p.s.: Sinus are a common disease, but the pain, you can only feel it, when you have it. Never try, never know.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

What the fuck??!!!

Yea, I pierced my ear. Well, most of people said it's damn painful. So, I tried. Nah, not that painful. But, it was worth, till yesterday. I dunno how can the stud come out, one of the screw-able end came out and fell don't know where. Then, another part definitely will come out. So, I took it out. I came back to my hostel room. I spent almost 1 hour to put it back, still cannot, so asked my friend to help me, still cannot. So, today, went back to the shop to ask her to put it back. She said your wound is still fresh, so even 1 day, it will close. I was like, 1 day you know, not 1 week. I didn't even have it for 1 week.

Now, I feel like something missing. I know it's pathetic. But, it's still the feeling, whenever I bath, after bath, on the bed, it's like reminding me this. Urgh!! But then, it's just the fucking stud right, can pierce again rite. So, fuck it!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

I saw her under the rain, even I was so down, the smile pop out of nowhere. She is so cute till I'm going crazy to meet her everyday!! I wanna meet her tomorrow. Make it happen, make it happen, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!