End of the good part inside me.

This will be something that I really really wanna say. Just bear with this people. It's about God.

Well I trusted you, I loved you, I even thought you will make my life better one day, I even thanked you to put her in my life, you know that right. I said I had nothing to ask since I have her in my life. But now, where is everything?? It's like my ex lost the love towards me, I lost the love towards you. I wouldn't thank you for the one year memories coz it's the killer of my whole life. Everything died. May be what I am doing now is just living for the sake of I still have time to enjoy my life before I am dead. I just wanna do everything that I decided to do. Some lost dreams. Everything. Coz I can't find anything that I can trust anymore. Everything I see, I see betrayal, I see pain, I see people faking smiles. Is this what the God have for me?? I didn't asked for money, I didn't ask for luxury life. I just asked you to put her in my life forever. That's all. Is that a lot for you??

Now, I dunno. I went too far to come back. I ran, ran away of the love that I had towards her. I ran, I dunno where I ended up. And now I really don't care. Seriously, nothing matters to me anymore. Even my academic adviser asked me what is matters to you and I answered nothing Miss. She was like well another crap is here. If you planned everything, of coz you know the consequences. When my ex died, I was how stupid a person can be. But when I had the pain in myself, well to tell the truth, she did the right thing.

I dunno. May some people calling me he lost in his world. He is crazy. He is stupid. But when you go through the pain and the betrayal, may be you will know. It's not only ma ex betrayed me, you God, you did it too. I am not the type that fuck the God up, when I had bad time. I didn't do that in my life at all. Only after this break up, seriously, you know how much was that, you know everything coz I always tell you how much she loves me, you took it away. You took something that I kept inside so carefully, that I build with everything I had, that I dreamed every single day. You just took it away. And now, I left with nothing.

May be satan inside me. May be he is showing me the way to hell. Well, if that is the cure, let it be, coz I dunno if I love a girl again, will you keep her in my life forever?? Will you?? Plus, I am not dare enough to fall in love again. When you pour more water inside a filled glass, what will happen?? It will spilled.

p.s: I am equal to a dead body. Well, I am happy coz everything I see, I see money, I see girls, I see drugs.