Hunger of love...

I realized something today. Lemme tell the whole story. Today was something new for me. When to Farouq place around 1.30 a.m. Then, as planned long ago me and my friend to go Penang at 3.30~4.00 a.m. Planned to sleep, but then the darkness did it usual stuff. I realized how much deep I love her. Sitting at the balcony alone in darkness with a nice windy air, I realized that live not gonna be as beautiful as those days anymore. Then, we leaved at 5.00 a.m. Actually we dont really know the way. Andrew the bastard, keep on asking me as though I am from KL. Then, somehow we found it and reached Penang around 10.30 a.m. Then go to the motel and check-in. All of sudden, they all wanna sleep. I was like you all come all the way to Penang to sleep. I am so touched. Then, somehow, they all bath and wanna go eat. Then go eat at Penang Road. Then, somehow, I give direction to a place that I never been and we reached. Phew!!! After that, Andrew fetch me to jetty. Take ferry and then bus, reached home.

I realized that I should never ever be happy. Coz I nearly cried at ferry. When the wind blows, it brings back the memories. Tomorrow I wanna meet her. All the tiny tiny hopes few months ago, now amplified and I know nothing else gonna happen, but I will control my heart if I can do that. Hunger of her love. My heart is starving. Now it's getting worst and worst. Those memories, those calls I made in my room, those conversion on the bed, now seems like really close to me. I miss those moment.

I dunno why nowadays got many girls trying to be my friend. Before I blog, someone miss called me. Then I sms and ask who is this. Then they started to talk like I care who is that. Cant you all see?? I am nothing else, just a rubbish in this world. I am damaged. Why you all wanna have a friend like me?? Leave me alone. I love the pain more than anyone. Let the pain cuddle me, pamper me.

p.s.: I wish I can make it. I wish I can meet you. I will let you know.