Sometimes "I love you" is not enough.

A perfect song, finally I found it.


Still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first kiss
It's getting better baby
No one can better this
Still holding on, you're still the one
First time our eyes met
Same feeling I get
Only feels much stronger
Wanna love you longer
You still turn the fire on

so if you're feelin' lonely don't
you're the only one I ever want
I only wanna make it good
so if I love you a little more than I should

Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me I need you like I do
Please believe me every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

Still feels like our best times are together
Feels like the first touch
Still getting closer baby
Can't get close enough
Still holding on you're still number one
I remember the smell of your skin
I remember everything
I remember all your moves
I remember you, yeah
I remember the nights, you know i still do

So if you're feeling lonely don't
You're the only one I ever want
I only want to make it good
So if I love you a little more than I should

Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me I need you like I do
Yeah, believe me every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

The one thing I'm sure of, is the way we made love
The one thing I depend on, is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm prayin', it's why I'm saying
Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me if I need you like I do
babe, believe me every word I say is true
Please forgive me if I can't stop lovin' you
no, believe me I don't know what I do
Please forgive me if I can't stop loving you

Can't stop loving you

You look so beautiful today...

I miss you so much!!!

Blackout!!!

Something damn serious happen last night, can say funny also. Actually I have test last night at 8. On the way to exam hall, suddenly the whole MMU went damn dark. I thought MMU wanna celebrate Earth Hour a bit late or what. Later go exam hall, of all the things, everybody taking photos each other like the world gonna end. SWT!! Get a life people. It is just a blackout. So, the test canceled, phew!!! Then hang out at Farouq place and sleep there also.

Even though I am smiling, laughing like a mad dog, there is something deep inside my heart bleed when I am happy. "Mad dog", I got the phrase from her too. Haiz. There are a lot of things that I adapted from her without knowing it. A lot till I lost count. Sometimes I will use the phrase, then only realise that she used to say it a lot. Why everything seems to be like a reminder to me??

I admit, I miss you alot. Alot, alot, alot like we usually will say to each other. There is a thing some poeple used to say,"no matter who you are with, parents, friends, anybody, but there is only a person can make you feel secure, safe, peace, pure happiness". My feelings was secure when she was around. I was strong mentally when she was there. No matter what people say, my feelings was not fragile like it is now.

Heart would not make a sound when it be broken, unlike a glass fall on the floor. It is coz you can buy a new glass and replace the broken one, but you can't do heart transplant to replace the broken heart. Sometimes I feel like wanna call you and tell everything. But, definitely you will cancel my calls. Do you ever think how it hurts when a person who needs you call you, and you know the person needs you, and you cancel the call?? You have so much of your ego in yourself till even the person keep on calling like a idiot,all you will do is cancel the calls.

p.s: I wish I could keep you longer.

Tiring weekend!!!

After woke up damn early, follow Veera to Mid Valley and he have a hair cut. Then, hang out at Farouq place. Came back damn late with damn tired condition. Today went to Sungai Wang to celebrate Jhonny's birthday. Then went back to Farouq's place and ate doughnut while watching some music video. Actually I shrink the story, that's why it look damn short.

I am scared to be happy, I am trying to avoid to laugh. Coz after I laughed, it reminds me of her. I wanna share with her. So, I will try to contact with her and end up getting terribly hurt. That is why I didn't go out anywhere this semester like I usually do before this. While at Sungai Wang, we were karaoke-ing, actually they were, not me. All the time in the room, I was thinking about her. Hey, it's you and you and you. It's always been "Always you". Why it's should be you?? You are bugging my life. I miss you so much. I even using "you" terms here even I know she not gonna read this. There is no way she will know that I'm blogging. Even she know also, she wouldn't read this. She hate me from bottom of her heart.

My feeling over her still strong. I did all that possibly I can do. Delete all the photos. Delete all the MSN chat logs. Delete all the edited pictures. Still got some of her things with me that I will give her back once I am back at Penang. I am not even looking at it. I am not even wearing her ring also. What else I should do?? I wish I can rewind back the time and undo all my mistakes, erase all the words that you said. I really wish I can do that. Haiz... I dunno what gonna happen tonight.

p.s: I admit. I suck.

Ma 1st emo-ness post

I'm blogging back. I delete previous account coz of some tragedy.

Slept around nearly 4. I also dunno. Damn drunk. The only reason I drink was I wanna sleep. Sleep!!! Sleep!!! But, I'm now, awake at 7.30 in morning. Haiz!!! I dunno what is wrong. I'm drunk and I should sleep till at least 10 or 11. Now, I'm having trouble to breathe. How do I wanna continue sleep. I'm having sleeping problems lately.

Pain everywhere. I dunno it's my brain or it's really pain. I cant sleep properly, my backbone hurt till the pain make me sacrifice my sleep and stay awake and do something else. Do soft tissue torn hurt this much huh??

She keep on coming in my dreams. Dreams such as she giving me hope, apologizing, all the opposite things what she's doing now. Although been few months, the feelings is still strong holding a piece of my heart. I cant forget anything, anything that happen. Let's put it this way, how if I'm guilty?? I should never bring her to that floor. Every milliseconds of the mp4 is keep on playing in my head in high definition.

Guilty, hatred, and anger to myself is killing me now. Everywhere I look around my room, she is there. What I can do for that?? I dont want too. I dont want to have her back too. Coz all the things you said, it's tattooed in my heart. Nothing gonna erase that, even your tears.

Remember this girl, what you did in past gonna decide your future. If you ignore your past, you are ignoring your future too. You gonna live in the circle you create yourself. But, at that time, dont blame anyone, blame yourself. Yeah, now you will be thinking, who the fuck I am in your life to tell you this. I just want you to know. You can get a better guy than me, but remember he can get a much more better girl than you.

I'm not gonna get a life and move on. You moved on, doesnt mean that I should do that.

Thats all. I'm sorry in this issue. I'm not gonna listen to you like always I do.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
(But I dont love them. Sorry guys.)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
(Yeah, beautiness will fade, big boobs gonna look disgusting when it's start sagging, but love not gonna fade or look disgusting.)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
(I guess both of us know very well each other, but what happen now?? Is this bullshit or that bullshit??)

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
(I guess you are not in the people list, coz things worked totally oppose this fact.And I dont want plenty of dates.)

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
(Yeah, but that was before, coz I really need money. But now, even though living on my own sound nice and tempting me to live my life, I still will stick with my suicidal plan.)

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
(Yeah, money will kill, but more money, can buy more ciggirates and that will be cool. By the way, thats why I mention kill just now.)

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.
(But, the "someone" dont have space for me anymore. But, yes, I wish I could spend alot more time with you, seriously.)

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
(This is where lies the huge mistake. I guess so. May be. Everytime I turn back and look at you, may be I'm afraid of this.)

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
(My head is way top of my heart, so let the boss do the job.)