Life, why did you choose me??

Funny isnt it?? Life changed, I somehow manage to accept it. But now, the changes is in my home and I cant feel my home is safe like I used to feel. Changes are really hard to accept. I never thought things in my home will change. This is not how my home used to smell, this is not how things were before. They changed everything here and they have rights to do so. Now, I try to accept how the furniture in my room are arranged, but I cant. I even don't like when my mom try to clean up my study table. Coz I'm not the type of person that could go on with changes easily. I love things to be at the place its used to be. Coz I'm used to adjust with it and lived. All I wanted is things to be like it was. But now, it's too late. Whats the point of being at the place I cant recognize anymore.

What should I do when home doesn't feel like home anymore?? There is no chance my family will understand this. My mom don't even thought about how I will feel when she ask something. I don't know why, the question never came across her mind. Every time I come back home for break, she will ask me when I'm going back on the same day I reached my home. Coz she never thought how I will feel. All she wants is answer. All everybody wants is answer, but never ever thought about how its gonna make one feels. She always asking me question. At first I yelled at her, now I gave up, I'm gonna ignore. No point telling to her don't do this and that when all my words to try make her understand how I feel is never gonna make her understand.

I'm typing this in Notepad, coz I cant online at home. No internet. And no one to talk about this. Look what is home means to me. Since I know, this four walls have been my home.

p.s.: Life, why did you choose me??